yes i am a drug addict
but i wasn't born one, i became one as the circumstances around me forged a web which i could not escape how much i tried i just could not run away from it rather the more i tried the deeper i was stuck in it.
20 years ago
it started when i was in college the first year alone in the hostel away from the warmth of home away from the love and affection of my loved ones i was so lonely and desperate trying to make new friends in a new world, in a world where i had problems with people i could not find true friends, i was hurt desperately in search of love , i was a good student in school but those decisive few months in college saw me in a company where i started from cigrattes and with time i graduated from it to marijuana to brown sugar to cocaine. when i was doing it i escaped from the harsh realities of the cruel world i spun a web completely imaginary around me where i was happy. i saw everywhere around me the people who were high on it, i met people who did it which further led me believe that everyone does it, it's no big deal. I was trying to inveigle myself to believe its right a way of life. I knew it was killing me from inside, i was becoming a hollow man i was killing myself but give in to age just out of my teens it felt so right. some of the friends i made tried to make me realize its wrong, but since when did i start listening to them i just turned a blind eye and a damaged ear to them, let them blabber its not their life and no one decides for me but me I felt invincible the world was at my doorsteps.
present day
i could have achieved what not but not now after being a habitual user for 20 years i am drained. my once handsome face is now just a shadow of what it used to be, my pupils have become so diluted that i need dark glasses even in slight light, i have asthma and lung cancer. the last visit to my doctor and he said bluntly "you don't have much years man" and the world crumbled at my face. At 37 i am a dead man. i can't stop hating myself anymore for destroying my own life for which no one else is responsible but me. my family disowned me , my friends distanced themselves from me and even the love of my life left me but here i am with a syringe in my hand puncturing a defeated nerve i have got to try meta amphetamine , i have heard the hallucinations last for hours
only if i could beat death even at its doorsteps
will my grave accept me now..... i wonder who will hold a memorial for me ..... slowly the familiar dreams are engulfing me as i move away from the reality to the abject world my world .......
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7 comments:
Nice take! I liked the idea of him being old. Anyone would have presumed that it would be a story of some teenager or may be some "just fed with job" person but it's different.
Btw..The book "The Damage Done: Twelve Years of Hell in a Bangkok Prison by Warren Fellows" is quiet similar to this.
@sach
i haven't read that one
and thanks for visiting
thats nicely put...I hope its not related to u in anyway.
I like the way u have written the harsh realities a drug addict will have to face.
-I
no its not mine
but thanks ..... anyway
it sound horrible n awsome :the youngsters,addicted to drug who r supposed to be the pillar of nation .
thank god its not personal experience but it was heart rendering n pathetic.
why pathetic...?
there are reasons when people fall for this .. the emotions which they can't handle not everyone is strong and if everyone is then where shall the meek go :P
hmmm.. if that is an original composition, then there is a lot you have to read about 'drugs'.. gently poised though, i liked that.!
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